Alisa, a 38-year-old Ukrainian with an office job in the capital, had always enjoyed sports shooting and joined a local territorial defence unit more than a year ago to acquire combat skills.
Now she is worried she might have to use those skills in a real war with Russia.
“People die, that’s horrible. Even worse is when you think not just about your life but about the life of a seven-year-old child,” she said in her house outside Kyiv while her son, Timur, watched cartoons.
“I realise he can be hurt because of the silliness of the neighbouring country, not a brother country anymore.”
Alisa, who asked that only her first name be used, joined the territorial defence forces a year-and-a-half ago, earlier than many.
In January, as Russian troops massed on the border, the government said it wanted to build reserves into a corps of up to 130,000 people.
Alisa said dozens of new people had been joining the training sessions each Saturday.
She began last weekend as she often does, putting on camouflage fatigues, taking one of the two small-calibre guns she keeps at home and heading to a training ground – a pine forest with sand dunes, an old railway and a few abandoned construction sites.
Along with dozens of other volunteers, mostly men in their late 30s and 40s with civilian jobs, she then spent seven hours either with her weapon on the ground or on guard as a part of a small patrol tasked with protecting a concrete building from enemy saboteurs.
She said the fact she has at least basic training is some comfort.
“If, God forbid, a war starts, I know how to move from an unsafe point A to a safe point B,” Alisa said.
“I understand how to do if I’m under fire. I know how to help Timur, friends, neighbours if they are caught in fire.”
Alisa is a media relations specialist at an organisation that works in cyber security.
She tries not to skip training sessions herself, even if she badly needs rest at the end of the working week.
Alisa likes gaining new skills that have built her self-confidence and courage but hope never to have to use them.
“I feel anger, hatred and I have my plans cancelled. It’s all surreal for me and I don’t get how such silly things can happen in a civilised world in the 21st century,” she said.
New courtesy: Independent.ie