The dogs’ persona is far from my mind when their canines are inches away from my face. Akin to most of humanity I have watched tons of videos of playful dogs on social media and had my heart melt. However, when I see the same dogs running towards me to play, that sensation turns to heartburn. All the years of deeply ingrained trauma melted away when I met Dixie Barkinson, a lovable Labrador on a snowy Christmas Eve.

I had a week-long break from work towards the end of 2020. So, I attempted to chart out plans for safe travel amidst a raging pandemic. That’s when my best friend and I decided to drive down to our friend’s house in Ohio and spend Christmas with them. I learned that they foster dogs and decided to adopt a Labrador from their foster care.

All the past harrowing experiences with dogs dug themselves out of their grave to haunt me again. Nonetheless, I decided to trudge forward with the plan. A decision that was strongly linked with a desperate need for human contact rather than an attempt to overcome my fear. Also, they assured me the dog is old and won’t bark, lick, or bite. All I had to do was keep my distance and I was safe. At least, that’s what I thought.

Stage 1 The Butterflies

We set out on our five-hour drive. Our friend greeted us at the entrance to his apartment. Out came Dixie, a furry white lab trotting beside him on a leash. My friend wanted Dixie to get used to us out in the open before we headed home, to her turf.

She sniffed me for a few seconds and my friend assured me I’d be fine from there on out, which translated to ‘She won’t come near me’ in my head. Once we entered the house, Dixie sat a few feet away with her tongue hanging out, excited to see new humans in her kingdom. A few minutes into our catching up, Dixie ambled towards me and placed her head on my lap, gesturing for me to pet her. My heartbeat rate shot to 180, or the number humans can go up to without suffering a heart attack. Meanwhile, my friend nonchalantly mentioned that Dixie tends to like girls more than guys. Ah, just my luck.

My best friend came to my rescue and began petting her, so she trotted happily to him. A strange thing I noticed about Dixie was during petting time, she would prop her butt on the floor, facing away from the person petting her. I thought to myself, the next time she comes towards me I am going to muster all my courage and pet her for a few seconds to keep her pearly white canines away from my face. I was shocked with myself for even being willing to consider the option.

Stage 2 The Flirtation

We freshened up and I went to the kitchen to make myself a refreshing cup of hot tea. Fear of dogs or not, I need my cuppa at five pm. Not once did Dixie get up and follow me around, even though I was the only one who hadn’t given her any attention. Following that, we started playing video games and she sat nearby watching all of us in silence. My eyes were glued to the screen, knowing the slightest glance in her direction could be misconstrued as an invitation to play.

My premeditated moves were no match for her impulsive brain. She got up again and propped her head on my lap. I realized that I would need to let Dixie in if I wanted to enjoy the next few days with my friends. I knew it would be a missed opportunity of overcoming my fear of dogs with possibly the calmest labrador on the planet.

I mustered all my strength and began rhythmically stroking her beautiful white fur. My goodness, was she soft, like the faux plush rugs that we all love to sprawl out on. As soon as I gave her the attention she needed, she turned her face away and sat to enjoy the session. Once in a while, she would tilt her head right and left ever so slightly, enough to send my heart racing to 180 beats per minute again. Nevertheless, I felt safe and a sense of calm took over my being while I pet her. This was within an hour of meeting her.

Stage 3 The Bonding

In less than 24 hours I was fully accustomed to her behavior. When we went to the kitchen, she would follow us only if she sensed that she may get food or treats she likes. This trait played in my favor since the American Dixie had no interest in my vegetarian food. When she sensed her owner’s bedtime, she would promptly follow them to bed. Being an early bird, she would wake up at 8:00 am and go for her morning walks, eat her food on time, and lounge for the rest of the day. She was the quintessential well-behaved and doting dog.

The following day we decided to get food from an authentic Kerala cuisine restaurant and explore Cleveland as much humanly possible in -10degC weather. I was secretly hoping my beloved Dixie would accompany us. I learned that dogs weren’t allowed in this restaurant. A lump formed in my throat as I stepped out of the door. I never wanted to leave her side. I did not admit these feelings to any of my friends knowing that I was beginning to get ridiculously attached.

I have enjoyed playing with babies and kids all my life. Yet, I never felt the same sense of gloom leaving kids behind at home. We deserve a break from their constant need for attention and tantrums. Dixie wasn’t like a kid. She was that fun-loving childhood friend who you couldn’t bring along on all your family trips. As soon as we came back from our short trip, she ran to each one of us barking hello. Her tail wagged energetically to show how ecstatic she was that we were home. My heart was full with Dixie’s warmth and devotion.

Stage 4 The Uncertainty

Three blissful days passed by in a jiffy. Finally, the day I dreaded ever since I fell in love with Dixie arrived. The day I had to leave her and head back home. If it was up to me, I would be by her side petting her, playing with her every single minute. Dramatic as it sounds that’s how I felt. As my friends were helping shovel the six inches of snow accumulated on our car, I looked at Dixie to say goodbye.

She was playing in the snow oblivious to the upcoming departure of her new friends. I patted her head and to our utter surprise, she did something that will stay in my memory for as long as I live. A dog whose owners had never seen her jump on anyone attempted to jump on me by placing her front two tiny paws gently on my coat. It lasted only a few seconds, after which she got busy sniffing and running in the snow. Maybe she wasn’t as oblivious as I thought. Maybe she could sense my despair. I will never know the answer, however, her gesture sealed the deal of our short-lived exchange for an eternal bond.

As we drove back, my heart was heavy, and my mind filled with a million thoughts of Dixie and the three blissful days I spent with her. Her serene demeanor as she would watch us act like animals while playing board games. Her well-positioned loyalty toward her owners wherein sometimes she would run to her owner’s side in the middle of our petting sessions to prove they are the most important people in her life.

Tears began rolling down my face. Even as my best friend played upbeat Christmas songs to cheer me up, I was inconsolable.

I am and always have been a people person. I love talking to different people, exchanging stories and ideas. For the first time in my life, there was an experience shaped entirely by a pet rather than people (no offense to my wonderful friends). All I kept thinking about was her. What was she thinking? What was she dreaming about? Does she feel lonely when we all are playing or talking? I may have been minorly obsessed. Unbeknownst to her, Dixie had provided me with a perfect end to a tortuous 2020.

Stage 5 The Everlasting Commitment

Dixie has carved out a special place in my heart for her and maybe other dogs in the future. A place that I only plan to rent out to dogs I meet on occasion and not own one myself. A place of unconditional love which is hard to come by with most of our fellow sapiens. A space I will cherish forever.

Until we meet again my love.

Story sent to us by: Dr Leslie George